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Tuesday, 01/11/2005
...
Mood:
 down
Now Playing: Tv..
Topic: *Sigh*
I`m at the official low. Hah.. Well from here.. There`s no way but up right? I hope they`re happy with what they`re doing to me. I really do. I`m not pushing blame, but people aren`t helping me right now. They`re just adding more things for me to stress out about and worry about. I have enough of my own shit to sort out before I can even start helping anyone else. Keeping it all pent up for this long probably wasn`t the smartest of all ideas either... But yea who knows how much longer I`ll be around here. Nothing is working out. I can`t do shit to fix anything. I`m useless. I`m pretty sure he sees me as that way too. Maybe I should just give up already. It`s about time. Just to give up all together. *Shrug* I can`t. I won`t. I`d never be able to live without him. I know that. But fuck, I want to give up sometimes. I need to stop being so pissed off all the time. This really isn`t helping the situation at all. I`m trying to be calm, but it`s hard when a billion things are racing through my head. All negative, which is bringing me lower. Hah.. I thought I was at the lowest, but if this isn`t it, I`m going to be fucked when I get there. Yea, so what if you think I`m whining. Maybe I am. But, nonetheless, this sucks and I can`t handle it by myself, yet have no one to help with it. So, here I am, back at sQuare one..
Posted by alkalinetrio13
at 11:34 AM CST
Updated: Thursday, 03/11/2005 1:58 AM CST
Saturday, 05/03/2005
Gehhh
Mood:
 not sure
Now Playing: Tv..
Topic: Hrm.. Skidoodle
Yea. I don`t know if I`ll be able to get my ferrets but hey that`s cool I guess cause either way somehow I`ll get some. Luke`s dog is having puppies so that`s awesome. Not really for her but we`ll enjoy them. Today kinda sucked. Got lost in Madison for a while. I was uber crabby. Had to deal with this fucking annoying stupid girl. And when I say stupid, I mean totally not a brain cell in her head stupid. I just wanted to hit her, and if we would have stayed longer, I`m pretty sure I would have. Ugh. And just... Bleh. I`m done. I don`t know whats going on or how I`m feeling, all I know is that today was a bad day. Plus now we have to tell Tasha that we aren`t going to move in with her anymore because we want to be here for the puppies. And by the time they are here, we`ll be living with her for like a month, then having to start all over again, so it doesn`t pay for us to move in there. We`re gonna look for our own place. I`ll just be better. But still that`s gonna suck telling her. But yea.. My hands hurt and I`m all tired and crabby. I`ll write more later. Bye kiDdys..
Posted by alkalinetrio13
at 1:42 AM CST
Thursday, 03/03/2005
SkiiiiDoodle..
Mood:
 hungry
Now Playing: The Tv..
Topic: WoOosh
GAHH! The Internet is FINALLY hooking up!! :D Well once again everything is picking up. Luke got a new job, yesterday which is great. We get to move to Reedsburg still and then I get my ferrets, I think. I`m not sure how the money situation is working out yet but, Ehh we`ll figure something out. Anyway, I`ve been in a better mood. And I got to see Cody today, and found out her REAL name! It was crazy stuff. But she`s always fun to be around, always makes you laugh. I missed Luke a lot though. So that sucked. And to make it worse, everyone kept referring to him or asking me about him :( So I was even more sad. But that`s ok. Bubbles got her situation fixed so I`m happy for her so it`s all gooT!! Mm I don`t feel good and I`m kinda crabby, but I don`t know why exactly. Just, one of those moods. But yea, I`ll write more tomorrow.. Adios..
Posted by alkalinetrio13
at 2:29 AM CST
Tuesday, 01/03/2005
La De Da.. Ugh
Mood:
down
Now Playing: Sublime - The Wrong Way..
Topic: What A Great Fuckin` Day.
Today sucked ass.. Luke didn`t get to get his job back so, once again we are at sQuare one. But it`s ok. We`ve worked through it before. It just sucks cause we had everything figured out and we were going to move and I was going to get my ferrets and he was going to get his sugar gliders, but now it just... sucks. Cause we can`t do any of the things we had planned. I was so happy that we would finally be on our own and get what we wanted but, yea. Every time we get on our feet, something has to fuck it up. I guess God just hates me, him, or both? Grrr.. It`s gay though. We deserve to get something in our favor. I don`t mean for it to sound selfish or anything but, I think we deserve something good. So yea, it`s Me and Luke`s 9 month-er.. And the day sucked ass from the minute I woke up. I yelled at Luke, he crabbed back, I found out he wasn`t getting his job back, stupid Dan still won`t pay us the money we lent him, when he said he would. We fuckin need that.. NOW.. Ugh.. But yea, so I just had a breakdown and realized that maybe I`m just supposed to be a bum the rest of my life. I feel so bad for having to stay here for so long. I feel like his mom thinks I`m just mooching off of her, which isn`t the case at all. I like it here, very much and love his family as mine, but I still would like to get out and be on our own. Just to show everyone we can do it. But as for now, it doesn`t look like that`s going to happen. Oh well. We get our chance to "rebuild" ourselves yet once again. I`m getting sick of it, and pretty soon I`m gonna say fuck it and just go live in the "Hole".. Fuckers..
Posted by alkalinetrio13
at 1:07 AM CST
Monday, 28/02/2005
Doo Doo Doo
Mood:
 mischievious
Now Playing: Nada.
Topic: Honky.. Er.. Honkey? Yes.
Yea.. Today was enjoyable except that for once, I didn`t get my way. Sar-ruh it wasn`t supposed to sound bad, but that`s just how it seemed. As soon as Brandon got there, you didn`t want to do anything so I assumed it was because you wanted to spend time with him, and only him. If we went there it would have been me and Luke sitting somewhere and you and Brandon sitting somewhere so, it didn`t really seem like we were warmly welcomed back. But yes, it`s over and done with. I found a new way to vent my anger. My Ryers gave me a game where you go to a mall and are supposed to do these missions for these guys but, I just run around killing people. It`s super fun. I killed 3,000 something people, maybe more just going on a spree. It was fun because Dan made me invincible and I got all the ammo I wanted. So, it made it fun. Me and my Ryers also bonded so it was in all, a good night. Anyways, I`m sorry Sar-ruh. But yeppers. I`ll write more tomorrow.
Posted by alkalinetrio13
at 1:45 AM CST
Sunday, 27/02/2005
Bleh.. Today`s Botherings..
Mood:
 a-ok
Now Playing: Dismemberment Plan - What Do You Want Me To Say
Topic: Blimps?
Today was a pretty good day. Not too many things bothered me at all. Just the fact that I woke up and just pushed everything off like it didn`t happen. It`s ok though. I was being irrational yesterday and I`m sorry but it`s all over with now. Anyways, the one thing that bothered me today was that someone ditched us at Country Kitchen to go hang out with a guy instead of us. I mean, sure we`ve all done it, but we try not too. And you came and then stayed for about 5 minutes. You didn`t have to even come then. And if you didn`t want to go anywhere and wanted to be alone with him then why didn`t you just tell us to go home? It would have been easier that way. But yea. That`s over and done with now, I just hope you don`t do anything you regret, and if you lie to me, you pinky promised, if you lie, then you will die :) So.. Be good you :P I also missed the new Degrassi episode, it may not mean much to you but still.. that sucked hardcore. Oh and the fact that Shithead called your parents and ratted you out. That was pretty pathetic. But as for Shithead, I`m done with him. So don`t worry :D Anyways other than that I had a good day, hung out and was happy and stuff, except that my body hates me. But when doesn`t it? So I guess I`ll write again when I have something that pisses me off :)
Posted by alkalinetrio13
at 12:25 AM CST
Saturday, 26/02/2005
BooYa..
Mood:
not sure
Now Playing: The music from Luke`s game..
Topic: Yea.. Hrm..
This is to me trying to better myself *Cheers*.. But yea.. I`m writing this to stop being so angry all the time.. But there are so many things about people that I don`t understand. Like why people pull out in front of you and then drive so damn slow. It pisses me off to no end. I have hardcore road rage. The worst of it has to have been today. I was screaming and yelling and flipping people off, but it seemed to make Luke and Sarah laugh so that`s alright I guess. But yea. I have a tendency to pick things apart. Not just a little bit, but every single piece of everything. Like I can easily tell if someone is lying. Because I`ll remember what they told me whereas they will get caught up in the story and mess it up somewhere. That`s when I jump in and prove them wrong. It`s not a good thing to do but thats ALL that I always do. But I`m trying to get myself away from doing that. It worked well a few days ago, but not lately. There are just so many things bothering me, and they are stupid things that mean nothing to anyone but me. But I guess, that`s why they are so important? With a lot of things I wonder if I just fucked things up? Am I letting myself create crazy stories? Or is it really true this time? See.. This is my HUGE dilema. Grrrrr!!! Ugh.. But I`m done, way too much typing for today. Adios.
Posted by alkalinetrio13
at 2:00 AM CST
Updated: Sunday, 27/02/2005 12:26 AM CST
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